Monday, March 19, 2012

*le stare*

Guise, wanna see something adorkable?

Okay so let's be honest here. 
I so don't feel like writing. I don't know why. I guess partly because I've been feeling so shitty that I haven't been in the mood to do anything for the better part of winter. And when I do feel like writing about something, I couldn't possibly publish it. It's weird having actual people who aren't Bambs or Kati in your rl. 
Life hasn't been exactly nice but I think I'm getting there. Somewhere at least. 

And yeah, about the things that I can't talk about. It's not that I don't want to talk about them, although it's that too, it's just that I can't really go around name-dropping when I know my classmates could easily be reading this. My tumblr is the place where to go if you really want to know what's going on i my head. But the b-side I shall not reveal. 

One more thing:

 Quite clearly, 12th April does. not. exist.

C'est la vie.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Invisible post

Sorry but this post is going to be a cryptic collection of quotes from my earlier posts. For documentation purposes.

Oh yeah I got my ski equipment. I guess it's something. It means that I actually managed to drag myself out of bed before the stores closed. Well okay it was only 30 minutes before the stores closed but still. I would call that development. But then again I'm not normal either.
~2nd January 2010

If anyone build a time machine I'd like to rewind and do everything again, mkay?
~4th January 2010

Oh yeah, I'm so screwed. I mean I have a week to study for physics county. I have been procrastinating for a month and now it's all collapsing on me.
~10th January 2010

I so completely hate myself right now. I hate myself because... Well because I'm just such a FAIL!
Sorry for not keeping in touch everyone... I just really don't feel like talking anymore. This is last winter all fucking over again.
~9th March 2010

That's what I get for giving up. Serves me right, really. Can't wait for the flipping spring break. A little rest sounds real good right now. Yeah...
~10th March 2010

Natalie Merchant - My skin
~25th March 2010

I'm not lonely. And SecretZen isn't my home. And I didn't spend my Jaanipäeva night watching Harry Potter movies and eating exessive amounts of candy. Alone. Till 3am AND I AM HAPPY.
~25th June 2010

Just to make it perfectly clear to everyone: I love it here. I love it, I love it, I love it and I reallyreallyreally don't want to go back, kay? No, I don't miss home and why should I? I hate it there, mkay?
~26th July 2010

I am amazed though that I survived New Years this year. I guess it's sort of a tradition to try and drown yourself in a glass of kids' champagne and hope to achieve some sort of happy state thanks to the sugar.
But hey, I haven't fallen into that great deep pit of darkness I was in last year around this time (or well in march but I'm hoping to steer clear of that this year). Yet.
~1st February 2011

I wish people would stop telling me I'm not good enough. I wish people would stop telling me I'm not fast enough, strong enough, smart enough...
~13th February 2011

Pink - Fucking perfect
~6th March 2011

Writers block
~27th october 2011

So I'm pretty grinchy this season, which, given the fact that I've the coolest half a year yet, seems pretty stupid. It is but there's fuck all I can do about it.
~23rd December 2012

Shit hits the fan
~January 2012

Or youknow, the things that do happen I can't talk about here...
 ~17th January 2012 

Well, there's school, obviously. And occasional lifeing. With long streaks of probably-depression.
 ~15th March 2012

I know it sounds all teenager-ly but I'm in pain right now. I just don't know what to do, I'm not even sure if I will publish this long, rambling speech. But I can't stop. Can't stop writing because I'm afraid of what I'll do to myself if my hands aren't kept busy otherwise. The sunny days haven't quite kept the darkness at bay.
~15th June 2012

Conclusion unavailable.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen, this shall be a post.
A blog post. To please my faithful reader. And Bambs.
So what has been going on in Kellyland:
Well, there's school, obviously. And occasional lifeing. With long streaks of probably-depression.
Then more school. And friends, can't not mention my friends.
Kaja and Kaida both came home for a week each. Saw Kaidas new dog, Pipa. Honestly those two are so overwhelming at times, it's creepy. But I guess I can deal with that when I go to Finland for the summer.
Gah, it's so annoying how I have nothing to talk about.
Vacation starts tomorrow, btw. Maybe I'll pull myself together and make an actual post then.