Tuesday, March 9, 2010

No giving up.

So you found out today your life's not the same
Not quite as perfect as it was yesterday but
When you were just getting in the groove
Now you're faced with something new
And I know it hurts and I know you feel torn
But you never gave up this easily before
So why do you choose today to give it all away?
~ No Giving Up - Crossfade

I so completely hate myself right now.
I hate myself because... Well because I'm just such a FAIL!
Here I am again... willing to give up just like that. Rather than actually trying I'm willing to dump everything and just run. I so wish it was summer. This house... being cooped up in this tiny room. Constantly not understanding if it's too hot or if it's too cold.
And god help me if I really am going to skip classes tomorrow.
The worst part? The worst part is that I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about.
I mean
How many people out there wish they had my life? And I...I just don't seem to understand that.
You have no idea how much I'd like to break something right now.
Wish I could go outside for a walk... clear my mind of stuff... But hey, it's fucking freezing and we are drowning in snow that has slowly turned into pools of mud and whatnot.
Wish I could just pause everything and cool off for a while
But life keeps going on. No matter what I want. Whirling by so that you don't even notice it and yet it's also wearing on with slowness you wouldn't believe.
Sorry for not keeping in touch everyone... I just really don't feel like talking anymore.
This is last winter all fucking over again.


1 comment:

  1. So... Have you tried telling anyone what's wrong? A little advice (or even a sympathetic nod or two) can go a long way, you know :)