Sunday, October 9, 2011

Movies I watched this summer.

As you all probably know since I have to have mentioned it a hundred times or so, I stayed in Finland this summer. For a month and a half I lived with my sister.
I also might have at one point or another mentioned that my sisters like to watch movies a lot.
And thanks to bambs I'm now going to talk about all of them and provide short summaries and pictures and stuff aswell.

1. Bridesmaids

Via google image search
I should first point out that th movies are in the order in which I remember them or spot them on imdb, this is not some top-whatever list of mine. I'm far too lazy to actually figure out which one is the best and which one the worst and so on.
So. Bridesmaids. Terribly amusing movie about the forever-alone chick Annie, whose best friend is getting married and she is chosen to be the maid of honour. However when she accepts the honour of being the maid of honour (haha), she is unaware that it means organizing absolutely everything. Trying to impress her friend and the other bridesmaids, things start going horribly wrong. And since this is a comedy they go down so low it gets just a bit impossible. But it's fun nonetheless.

Wikipedia of course provides a much better summary than I ever could.
And youtube has a trailer here.

2. Tangled

I actually watched this like way back, before my graduation but it's such an awesome movie it deserves a shout out.
So it's basically rapunzel except it was made this year, it has a superawesome horse and a badass gecko. The ebil witch person is not so ebil at first until she suddenly is, rapunzel is the badassest, funniest and awesomest rapunzel ever and it's all so sad and so funny and Flynn is the best.
This is one of those IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS YET, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLEY, GO AND WATCH IT NOW movies andandandand...
Guh. I love that movie.
OKAY, okay, okay- I've got a my closet. I've got a person, in my closet. I've got a PERSON in my CLOSET! Haha! Too weak to handle myself out there, huh, Mother? [starts twirling frying pan] Well... [laughs] ...tell that to my frying pa- [accidentally hits herself with pan]

Did I mention that you should watch it? Cause, you totally should.
Also, those of you who have seen it: please click the youtube trailer link i provided, watch it and tell me if I'm just stupid or is half of that composed of material that wasn't actually in the movie? dafuq?

3. X-Men: Epic Romance First class

You can tell me whatever you want but I will forever think of this movie as The Epic Love Story of Erik Lensherr and Charles Xavier.
Seriously. At least three movies would have been avoided if they'd just admitted their undying love to each other. And it's not even my fangirl brain providing that comment. Just watch it, you'll see. 
Beside the romance, the plot is about how all that shit got started. 
Young Charles and Erik are pretty easy on the eyes and awesome and there's a bunch of über-cool mutants who inevitably get killed. Pretty angsty movie. Of course, it probably says something about it that I can't remember much past the EPIC ROMANCE OF EPICNESS.
But watch it and we'll see what you think. 

4. Sucker Punch

Easiest way to describe this movie is to point out that you watch that movie and when it ends it just leaves you going what the fuck just happened.
Wikipedia says it to be an action-fantasy thriller but honestly to me it seemed more like a psychological mind-fuck movie. It's about this girl that sees her mother and little sister being murdered by her father, who hates them all. That same father then gets her institutionalized and pays off some guy to get babydoll (the main character) lobotomized. She then goes a little insane and starts imagining that she is not at the asylum but rather at some brothel and with the other girls there she starts planning her escape.
If you want to understand any of it, read the summary on wikipedia prior. You'll need it.
The action scenes in the movie are absolutely awesome. The scenes are awesome. The costumes are awesome. The music is epic. The plot? Oy vey...
This is one movie you can do without watching.


5. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

So when I first started watching this movie I thought to myself that eh... why am I watching this weird movie about some ape that is only as popular as it is because the franchise already has a ton of movies and so it's gotten pretty popular over the years. Then I realized that I was wrong. It was popular because it's pretty goddamn good.
This is again one of those how-did-it-all-begin kind of movies. Planet of the Apes already has like 7 or 8 movies about it but this is how it supposedly begun. There's this lab where humans are experimenting on apes to find a cure for alzheimer's. It goes wrong a during a presentation one of the testees goes ape-shit (haha) and destroys everything in its wake and the whole experiment is scrubbed and the apes killed. The lab people though find one baby-ape that had been born recently to one of the apes under testing and can't bring themselves to kill it. The main character lab person in the movie takes the chimp home with him and brings him up. It soon becomes apparent that the drug they were tsting on the mother of the ape had been transferred to the baby ape (Caesar) who is much more intelligent than a normal chimpanzee.
Basically, all kinds of bad thing happen and Caesar ends up leading a monkey-revolution and killing a whole lot of humans and freeing all chimps. Hence, planet of the apes.
First of all, David Hewlett and Ton Felton.
Just to put it out there.
The movie was awesome and I guarantee you end up being on the monkeys side before the movie is over. Seriously, you will.


Epically. Cute.

6. Your Highness

Your highness...
How do you go about describing such a movie...
okay, have you guys seen the Epic Movie? Yeah, it's pretty much like that, except it has a little bit more plot. But not much.
And Natalie Portman.
It's another one of those movies that will end and you'll just be like "What the fuck did I just watch..."


Warnings for the kind of humor that only 6th graders can fully appreciate.

7. Paul

Best. Movie. Ever.
No, seriously.
So it's about these two british guys who go to america to take part in comic-con and then tour around the famous sci-fi and ufo sites and stuff. Then all of a sudden they crash into a real ufo who is in desperate need of their help to escape a bunch of baddies who want to lock him away. Again.
I know it sounds riddiculous but it really, really is. One of the funnies movies I have ever seen, easily. I have already seen it twice and would gladly watch it again and again. The actors, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, are absolutely hilarious, the plot itself is piss-your-pants kind of funny and while the humor tends to occasionally venture to the inappropriate side of the spectrum you'll still think it's the funniest thing ever.
Best way to spend an hour and forty four minutes.

Paul: (smoking a joint) It’s pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Graeme: Bob Dylan’s not dead.
Paul: (smirks) Isn’t he?

Watch it. Watchitwatchitwatchit.


8. Bad Teacher

A not-very-memorable comedy starring Cameron Diaz and Justing Timberlake (who, in my opinion, should just stick with singing and not try to act for he sucks at it) about a teacher who is used to living well beyond her means but when her rich boyfriend breaks up with her, she has to find other means for making money. And those she finds in her students. 
Honestly, I wasn't a whole lot impressed with it. Yeah, it was kind of amusing in couple of scenes but other than that.. meh. 
But hey if you are bored and have absolutely nothing better to do...

9. Easy A

Another one of those movies I absolutely adored. 
Easy A is the story of a high school student who is absolutely average until she is talked into helping her gay friend, who is constantly bullied. Namely she pretends to be his girlfriend to make the rumors stop. Her friend however ends up mentioning how she helped him out to a friend who manages to blackmail Olive into helping him the same way. And that's how it all begins.
Once Olive realizes that she is in way over her head and everyone thinks that she is a slut, she discovers that the friend thanks to whom the whole mess started has run away and closed her only way out. 
Now, she has to work to fix the mess she has created and sort her life out once again. 
The story is funny, interesting and pretty damn amazing.
Again, well worth your time.

Let the record show that I, Olive Penderghast, being of sound mind and below average breast-size, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth... starting now.

    10. Source Code

    Source code was one of those mindfuck movies again, cept this one sort of actually made more sense and didn't send me running to wikipedia 5 minutes in. The logic sort of gets a bit fuzzy near the end and doesn't end up making all that much sense but it has Jake Gyllenhaal in it so we'll forgive everything else. 
    All in all it's pretty interesting and sort of actiony. Something new to stand against all those used up and totally milked-out plots these days. Also, it's one of the few movies that came out this year and WASN'T a sequel or a prequel or a thirst part or fifth part or whatever. S'nice.
    Did I mention Jake Gyllenhaal though? Cause, Jake Gyllenhaal, people. Jake Gyllenhaal.

    11. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2

    I'm not going to write anything here, instead I'm going to email a separate post of an email I sent to bambs right after seeing the movie. Link here.

    12. Elektra

    Based on a Marvel comic character of the same name, Jennifer Garner plays a kick-ass assassin, who is payed to go on an island to wait for orders concerning her next kill. While there, she meets a guy and his daughter. According to every cliche in the history of forever, she then finds out that they are her next targets but having already spent time with them, she can't find it in herself to kill them. 
    What follows is a jam-packed action badassery complete with people who have awesome powers. 
    It's Marvel, after all. 
    And if you are still not sold, then maybe it helps to point out that Colin Cunningham plays in it. If that name says nothing then maybe this sentence will surely do it: 

    He is known for his recurring role on Stargate SG-1 as USAF Major Paul Davis.
    Thought so.

    13. Practical Magic

    Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Stockard Channing, Goran Višnjić.
    Just a few names to make a point that THIS IS A REALLY GOOD MOVIE.
    A 1998 movie it may be, but it's pretty awesome. Two sisters. Their parents die when they are young and they end up having to live with their crazy-ass aunts. Their whole family can do magic and while Sally (Sandra Bullock) wants nothing to do with it, Gillian (Nicole Kidman) is pretty okay with the whole thing. 
    There is however a curse over the family, that makes sure every woman who falls in love with a man, ends up getting her husband killed (hence the sisters being orphans). Gillian, who no longer lived in the small city with her aunts, found herself a boyfriend who turned out to be abusive and tried to kidnap both the sisters. While attempting their getaway from the creepy boyfriend, Sally ends up accidentally killing him. Freaked, the sisters try to revive the boyfriend but it goes very wrong very fast and now they have to deal with one supercreepy undead boyfriend and a snooping FBI agent. 
    There's magic and funny and cute.
    Again, well worth your time.

    Young Sally: He will hear my call a mile away, he will whistle my favourite song, he can ride a pony backwards-
    Young Gilly: What are you doing?
    Young Sally: I'm summoning up a true love spell called amas veritas, he can flip pancakes in the air, he will be marvellously kind, and his favourite shape will be a star. And he'll have one green eye, one blue.
    Young Gilly: I thought you never wanted to fall in love.
    Young Sally: That's the point. The guy I dreamed up doesn't exist, and if he doesn't exist, I'll never die of a broken heart.

    14. Ten Inch Hero

    Definitely one of my all time favourite movies ever. 
    A young girl who has had to give her daughter up for adoption eight years ago is now confident she has found her again and moves into the same city to be near her. She gets a job in a completely crazy sandwich shop, where she befriends the workers. Priestly, who wears more makeup and piercings than all the girls put together (and is played by Jensen Ackles!!!); Tish (Danneel Ackles), who has a one night stand for every night but never actually falls in love; Jen, the shy but terribly nice girl who has a crush on Fuzzy22, her online chat buddy and Trucker, owner of the shop and an authentic 60s hippy, who is kind of in love with the woman who lives across the street but never has the courage to do anything about it.
    Piper, the main character, then accidentally ends up as an art tutor for the girl who she believes to be her daughter and starts to become friends with her father as well. 
    It's a really superduper cute romantic comedy where everything is pretty cliche until it suddenly isn't and everyone ends up happily in love. 
    And yes, the title does kind of sound like a porn movie so if you are downloading it just be careful, yeah?
    Not that I support piracy. Buy the stuff you like, people! (unless you are poor like me)

    15. The Proposal

    I'm tempted to add miss congeniality 1 and 2 to this list as well, just to list out all my favourite sandra bullock movies, but I think that 15 is a pretty good number at which to stop.

    Sandra Bullock plays this tough book editor at the head of a company whose life is going superb until suddenly she gets the news that her visa won't be renewed. To stay in the states and keep her job, she bribes her secretary, Ryan Reynolds, into marrying her. To prove to the immigration people that it's not just staged so that she could stay in the country, she accompanies her soon-to-be husband to his grannys (Betty White!!) birthday party in the middle of nowhere and makes plans to have the wedding there. Like every romantic comedy plot ever created, after many amusing situations and hardships she ends up falling in love with him, runs off at the altar to avoid ruining his life, not realizing that he is in love with her as well.
    And yes, I did spoil the ending here but the ending really doesn't matter because if you couldn't predict that it would happen, you clearly haven't watched enough movies. 
    The proposal is definitely one of those must-see movies alongside ten inch hero and paul. 

    Margaret: That your family?
    Andrew: Yes.
    Margaret: They tell you to quit?
    Andrew: Every single day.

    And so it is done. I think.
    Dear god I thought I'd never get to the end. 
    I am pretty much concerned that I have forgotten a couple but whatever. If I can't remember them, they are not nearly important enough to be included. (See, I immediately remembered that I watched Resident Evil's last movie too but whatever. I haven't even seen the other resident evil movies so I really can't talk about that) 
    I hope you found it at leas amusing and you should now really go and just watch most of the ones I listed.
    Do it.
    I dare you.


    "A film is a petrified fountain of thought." 
    ~ Jean Cocteau


    1. OH YOU'RE KIDDING ME! I was up to 11. with my comments and then the net did some weird refresh thing and deleted the whole thing?!?! I hate my life -.-

      Seriously, I'm NOT going to rewrite all that -.-

      In short:

      Tangled - superberiffic! (Didn't notice anything wrong with the trailer. DID spot an excellent Puss in Boots trailer, though! Can't wait.) <3 cartoons x)
      The Proposal - quite okay.

      Haven't seen the rest of the movies x)

      Bridesmaids - ON MY LIST!
      X-men - ON MY LIST! (<3 James McAvoy and don't start on some epic romance; after Dumbledore and Grindelwald that sh*t rubs me the wrong way. fu, JK.)
      Sucker Punch - not gonna, no way. Action ftw, but only when it consists of Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson, not some half-naked girls -.-
      Apes - nope, sorry, not for me. Not even with David Hewlett. Saw the 2001 movie and just didn't like it.
      Your Highness - SOO gonna! Totally for me. 6th-grade humor ftw!
      Paul - ON MY LIST!
      Bad teacher - no way, too many have announced it to be crap. (Wouldn't judge Timberlake too harshly, though. He's epic in those Saturday Night Live spoofs.)
      Easy A - have heard it to suck, but might reconsider and watch.
      Source code - mindfuck!! Me like. On my list. Jake Gyllenhaal brings extra points, too, no doubt there.
      No further comments on Harry.
      Elektra - lolol, naturally Davis would win me over, but I've seen clips of the movie and it didn't really excite me, so no.
      Practical magic - might consider...
      Ten Inch Hero - I take it's not about David Tenninch? xD Never heard of the movie. Might consider x)

      And that concludes the overly lame short summary of aaaaaaaaall that I had written -.-

    2. Definitely consider ten inch hero.

      also your list is awesome :D
      way to go you :D

    3. I'm sorry but the ten inch thing just equals Tenninch in my mind. Nothing to do about that. BARROWMAAAN! /shakes fist

      Also I have no idea when I'm going to start watching that list :D Exams ftw.